i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
