What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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