oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
