put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
