I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
