is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
