we have officially mastered the walk of shame
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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