omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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