did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
