He disabled his match.com account in front of me
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
