So drunk, too bad you don't want this
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
