theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
