Just fell off a train. Bad.
where am i from again
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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