I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
