Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
