I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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