I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
