I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
