I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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