You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
