Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
