i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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