I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
