the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
