so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
