What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
