it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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