So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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