The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
