That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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