I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
