still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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