mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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