question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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