why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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