The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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