end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
The Olympian is in my bed
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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