PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
