We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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