where am i from again
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Randomize
