I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
