Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
