***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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