if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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