Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
