The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
