I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
