piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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