forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
