Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
