Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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