I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
