last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
