The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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